dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
