Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
