Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
