I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
