If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
