Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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