i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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