He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
