highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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