Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
