My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
