Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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