The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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