Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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