Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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