No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wat bout pragnant strippers??
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
