READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the day after is always just damage control
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize