Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
worst night to have a conscience
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
