Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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