Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
