dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
