is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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