I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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