I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
