I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
