I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I enjoy the company of your penis
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
