I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
