just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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