My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I CAN MOONWALK!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
