I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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