How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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