Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
as a side note pls kill me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
