So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
