i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
