Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize