forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My vagina is officially offended.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
