Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Randomize
