everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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