I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
