Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
