Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think people are normalizing furries
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
