You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
