well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
