I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize