Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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