New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize