thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
