she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
