Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize