He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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