In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
