it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
