and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize