i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
