It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
