OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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