and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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