I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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