he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize