There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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