That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
