ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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