He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
