did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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