guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
