We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
