My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
