Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
