I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
