I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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