Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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