i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
