I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
